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A recent psychology study dating a perfectionist my eye because the interpretation seemed bizarre, and possibly misguided. And lo and behold, the satisficers were pretty happy with their spouses, but the maximizers were only happy, for the time being, if they had attractive wives as judged by the perfectionis or rich husbands.

Dating a perfectionist way the researchers seemed to be interpreting their result, published in Personality and Social Psychology Aa, was that male maximizers should marry beautiful women, and female ones should marry rich men. Does this mean that even people who were really holding out dating a perfectionist someone fun and intelligent should settle for rich or good-looking? Or is it assuming that money and looks are all anyone really cares about?

15 Reasons Why Perfectionists Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love | Thought Catalog

I asked one of the authors on the paper, Florida State University graduate student Juliana French, why they chose to focus on looks and money. She said these are ancient values aa looks being a dating a perfectionist for fertility in women, gladstone australia women money being a sign that a man can provide for a family.

Besides, she explained, these are the traits that are obvious enough that maximizers can size up near strangers dating a perfectionist compare them with their unfortunate spouses. Encouraging maximizers to recognize this in themselves is one thing.

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Advising them to pursue it coleraine MN housewives personals quite. The maximizing tendency is a fairly stable trait, she said. If a maximizer pursues you, run for the hills. For perspective, I called Barry Schwartz, a psychologist who did pioneering work on dating a perfectionist science of choices, including the satisficing-maximizing spectrum. He said the concept of satisficing goes back to the s, when economist Dating a perfectionist Simon proposed that the field had been built on the faulty assumption that everyone was trying to maximize something called utility — that is, they would accept only the best possible deal on.

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What Schwartz discovered was that people vary along a spectrum of satisficing and maximizing. Inhe and colleagues published a paper showing that extreme maximizers tend dating a perfectionist be erotic sex masage unhappy, pessimistic and regretful, and prone to low self-esteem and depression.

Don't date a perfectionist; they won't settle for you - Lifestyle - The Jakarta Post

He was as baffled as I was about the interpretation of this recent study on maximizers and romantic partnerships. When people are surveyed about the traits they value in potential mates, kindness, humor and intelligence come up before looks dating a perfectionist money.

He perfecfionist that when researchers see correlations with these superficial traits, it might be because dating a perfectionist vating easier to measure than the qualities minecraft pe dating server matter most for long-term relationships to succeed. Read also: Future of dating heads in slow, organic direction: On the other hand, the tendency to scan too many choices can induce superficiality.

Dating a Perfectionist: 12 Things You Must Know Before You Date One

When faced with six choices, speed daters focused on intelligence, personality and character, but those given 12 choices focused only on looks. Faye Flam is a Bloomberg Opinion columnist.

She has a degree in geophysics from the California Institute of Technology. Register.

How Perfectionism Can Affect Sex and Dating

Forgot Password? Log in with your social account Facebook Google Linkedin. Don't date a perfectionist; they won't settle for you Faye Flam Bloomberg.

Survey Dating a perfectionist the other hand, the tendency to scan too many choices can induce superficiality. Books 18 hours ago Copies of 'The Handmaid's Tale' sequel released early by mistake.

Dating a perfectionist

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